IN SUMMARY:
He woke up one morning to the reality that his wife would not be there to mother his children anymore. And since then, Isaac Rucci has dedicated himself to being the best father and mother he can be to his daughters.I'm a father, an artiste, businessman, emcee but most of all I am a single parent with two wonderful daughters Keza, 10, and Tona, 7. I have been since Tona was about 18 months.
How I wound up a super dad? I was married and living in the united states with my wife when we decided to come back and settle in Uganda.
At that time we had one child Keza, but within months of coming back, my wife was expectant again and we went back to the United States for the birth.
After Tona was born, my wife wasn’t too eager to come back and we worked out a plan where I would come to Uganda with the children and she would take some time alone, do something for herself for once, and join us after a few months.
The beginning of the journey
Long story short, the months came and went and then a year later, she dropped the bombshell! She was not ready to move back to Africa and well, the children were now solely my responsibility. Tona was now one-and-a-half years old and Keza around five.
My life now revolves around the two girls. I have to arrange my schedule around them and find ways of making sure they have parental love and parental presence. That means I have to be home every day at around five.
I play with them, talk to them about their day, be present as they do their homework and have dinner with them. I can go out with the boys or do any other work and social engagements after they are off to bed.
Even on particularly busy days, I make sure to dash home for at least an hour so they find me home from school. I think it is only fair that they have a parent waiting at home, since they have to live without a mother.
I woke up for nightly feedings and stayed up all night with a wailing Tona when she was younger.
The missing mumBut by far, the hardest time was when she would wake up crying for her mother. I didn’t know what to tell her and it would break my heart.
Amazingly, her older sister Keza helped her get over it. She helped us both because I would be at a loss of words at these times. She seemed to exhibit such maturity over the whole situation and patiently explained that they didn’t have a mum but they had daddy, to her little sister and it seemed to comfort the little one. It seems like she, Tona, now understands that she has the best thing one can possibly wish for, a loving available parent. She now understands and is as any other girl her age.
I have had to play an active role in my children’s life just to fill the void of growing up without their mother. My family members too, have been a great help. They surround them with warmth and attention.
I also have a nanny from heaven; she has been with us for a long time and treats the girls well.
Changing diapers and saloon trips
At first, she was amazed that I was changing diapers and bathing the children, but over time, she understood that that is who I was. I have also had to learn how to raise girls, like issues to do with their hair and other things girls, little or older care about.
I take them to the salon, know when whose hair needs retouch or treatment. I had to learn all the processes. Of course, now my girls have picked up and even know all the processes better than I do.
Ï also have special family days; Saturdays, where I spend the whole day with the girls at home. I only accept to go anywhere on these days if I can also take the girls.
I purposed from the very beginning to be a very involved parent. To be more of a friend to my children. I talk to them a lot, when they do good things and when they err. I don’t think there is anything that will or is happening in my daughter’s life that is out of bounds for us to talk about.
I have already spoken to my elder daughter about body changes and all that comes with it. I had to because she is pre-teen, very smart and is growing so fast.
So far I have not met a situation I can’t handle, or that my family members can’t help with. Like shopping for example, although I know a little about what to get them, I get a lot of help from my sister who is abroad who helps me with that.
The dark reminder
There are some things that have caught me off guard. Like once when I was summoned at school because one of my daughters had a minor incident.
It was a minor mishap but the school authorities were concerned and I had to quiz as to what led her to do what she did.
Finding no reason as to why she did it, she decided to look for the biggest she could find and said it is because she was envious of other children who had mothers.
We worked through that, after I explained that there are different types of families and this was how ours was.
The greatest joy of being a single father is that I get to be there, through it all. The laughter and the tough times. I have since learnt that time to be an involved parent is created. And I get to watch them grow and most of all play an active role.
